I’m writing this post in an attempt to lighten my heart, to get the evil thoughts out of my system, because
most of the time once in a while my little son is driving me insane.
Not even two weeks ago he turned tree years old and everybody told me the terrible two stage miraculously comes to an end on the third birthday, right? 😉 Of course not. It’s getting worse. Much worse.
In an attempt to save the last bit of my sanity I’m writing down the things that are
driving me nuts bother me just a tiny little bit in the behavior of my little devil adorable, sweet little boy. And of course, after reading them you will laugh and say, hey, they are all age appropriate, that’s the stage of development he’s currently in, everything is normal and ok.
Ok for the tot maybe, but those quirks make me kick the wall (when nobody is watching). Because ‘Timan’ knows how to do things properly, he even likes to do them. Just not very often. Sigh and sigh again.
So here they are:
- I can’t sit somewhere during the day without ‘Timan’ running towards me and climbing on my lap. It doesn’t matter if he was peacefully playing with his toys somewhere else, as soon as I’m sitting he’s coming and trying to climb up. This is not funny anymore and not relaxing for Mommy. I don’t like to sip my coffee while standing around as if I was a parcel at the post office that somebody forgot to pick up. Grrrr.
- He loves to bump his head into soft body parts like my belly when I’m all relaxed. He does it like a bull and it’s really painful. And tighten my abs the whole day long may be good for my appearance, I know, but it’s so tiring. Grrrr.
- He’s taking more things and toys in his mouth than when he was 1-year old. Ok, go figure, because now, two years later he just has more toys. On top of mouthing his cars he also does it with other things like pieces of cell tape, clothespins, tubes of cream, rolls of toilet paper … the list is endless. So far he only does it with things we have at home. And he doesn’t suck his thumb. So I should be grateful, shouldn’t I? Sigh.
- He still pees next to our main entrance. As soon as I unlock the door in the morning, he shoots outside and marks his territory. Maybe we need to get a dog that takes this task away from him. 😉 And don’t get me started with our gate. This is the next place that is frequently getting his spray.
- The tantrums these days last much longer than they used to and the screeching and screaming is much higher and louder. Especially if he’s close to me and screeching with full lungs into my ear. This is so freekin painful and gives me a headache every time. Grrrr.
- He’s sometimes quite opinionated for his age. Every thing he knows better and he doesn’t accept other opinions, like mine for instance. And every time when this happens it makes me wonder: Have I taught him the wrong things? Or is this the beginning of a typical single child behavior?
- He is such a slowpoke when it comes to do things that are not his idea (brushing teeth, washing hands or getting ready and stop moving around so I can put cream on his rash for instance). But on the other hand, if he wants me to do something, it has to happen in this very second, of course.
- Only a broken car is a good car. And here I guess we have the typical issue boy vs girl. I wouldn’t say that I’m a typical ‘girl’, but I like things neat and intact. A broken toy is worth nothing to me and has to be fixed or replaced. And here I have to learn from my tot, because a broken car is all of a sudden transformed into a new toy, with a new purpose and a new name. I guess that’s also called a vivid imagination. So I’m trying to step back and let the destructive work take place to a certain extent.
‘Timan’s favorite broken ‘new’ toys with the names ‘wagon’, ‘racing’, ‘cabrio’ and ‘special’.
And having written this last section, I’m already starting to feel a little better. Maybe because ‘Timan’ is peacefully napping right now, maybe because I’m a proud mommy of a sweet little tot with such a vivid imagination that enables him to play on his own (he just doesn’t want to do it as often as I like him to) or maybe because finally we have rain here in paradise, rain that might fill up our lakes for water storage and hopefully our water will take a turn to the better within the next couple of weeks.
And by this time ‘Timan’s chlorine rash caused by the tap water might also be a nightmare from the past, I hope. Unfortunately it’s still there, maybe a little less than before, I don’t know anymore. But it’s still very itchy, even though since two weeks we are using untreated water the Hubs has to bring down in bottles from a river way up the mountains, where nobody is living. And maybe it’s not the chlorine, but something else and I have to find out what it is.
But I’m trying to give our little son all the love, cuddles and all the mommy-time he needs.
Thanks for hearing me out and reading my outburst. I guess it’s not so bad after all.
But now, please tell me it’s me, not the tot, who has the problem. The things I’ve listed, they are age appropriate, aren’t they?
‘Timan’s ‘terrible two’ are striking with full power these days, one temper tantrum one after another. Sometimes for reasons I can understand, like he wants something but he’s not allowed to have it, or he wants to do something himself and I don’t let him because it’s too dangerous for him, or he’s being naughty and has to sit on the naughty chair. But sometimes out of the blue because of nothing, he’s not hungry or thirsty, he’s not tired, he’s not overwhelmed by anything and he probably doesn’t even remember himself why it started, maybe it was just because an ant crossed his path, I have no idea.
However it’s never because he is not capable to do a thing I came to realise. The little monkey, as little as he is, thinks he’s the one. The one and only who has the ‘golden fingers’ and he’s capable of doing anything he wants with them. A very dangerous situation we have here. Maybe I always fear for the worst but I cannot help it. He’s not even 2 3/4 years old and has a very limited sense of danger. We keep telling him ‘don’t do this, because …’, he stops, thinks, walks away, comes back and does it anyway. And I have to admit, normally nothing happens. Either I see him in the attempt and manage to stop him or he’s just lucky, strong enough, a too good climber, you name it.
… I really want those DVDs up there, they are so shiny to look at, the covers have a cartoon character on them and I’d love so much to tear them apart, like the ones I did the other day …
But with all this said, there is another thing that’s getting a bit out of hand in the little monkey’s head. ‘Timan’ is getting somewhat bossy there days. Now that he’s back to his old self, he wants to organise the household, run the show and have Mommy and Hubs dance when he says dance. Well, actually more the Mommy, the Hubs is not around so often because he’s at work.
I was told ordering around others is part of this developmental stage as well. It’s not surprising when you are told the whole day what to do and what you should not do that you start to do behave the same way. I try not to tell him too often what he should do or not, unless his action is dangerous for himself or others or he is destroying valuable things. But because he’s almost constantly testing his limits I actually end up giving him orders more often than I would like to.
I see no other way out than to relax, close my eyes on it (but not completely, keep watching the little monkey under my eyelashes, danger is lurking everywhere) and let it pass. Hopefully it will pass soon, very soon, otherwise Mommy’s mental stage is in real danger.
How about you fellow Mommies (and Daddies)? What measures are you taking to keep you sane? Please take a heart and give me some ideas, I run out of them.
Last week the incredible has happened. I still can’t believe it. My Hubs was off for four days in a row and during 1 1/2 days of them he stayed home with ‘Timan’ while Mommy could do whatever she wanted.
Since I gave birth to ‘Timan’ this has never happened before. Can you imagine, not for 2 years, 7 month and 28 days. Ok, when he was a little baby there were some mornings I dropped him and some bottles of breast milk off at Gromi’s (my mother in law) and was able to do some shopping for clothes in town. This is not really possible with a little one who is not able to stand on his own feet yet. But when he started to walk I took him with me on my shopping sprees, actually I always take ‘Timan’ with me, wherever I go.
But last week I went to the beach on my own. I didn’t even call a friend to join me. It was wonderful and relaxing. There were not many people around, the sun was shining, the water was warm, there was even a nice surf (the pic I took before the surf started). I read my book, swam, took a sun bath, had a cocktail … with other words I gave myself the perfect day.
Back home we had an overly tired and cranky ‘Timan’ because Hubs was not able go get him to take his nap. So I had to hurry up to prepare dinner for the little one, brush his teeth and have him take his shower just in case he’s falling asleep early. Of course he was denying to be tired but at 7:45pm he was sound asleep.
On day number two I went shopping. Just for me. Ok, I also bought a story book about a locomotive for ‘Timan’ but that was it. And I realised something. People were looking at me differently. All of a sudden I was not the Mommy with a toddler in tow, I was a woman again. Incredible. I realised it actually made me walk differently, swinging my hips a bit (this is rather difficult when you are pulling a tot behind you or worse, have to carry him). I just had to tell Hubs, but I think he didn’t like it. And this made me smile even more.
To make sure ‘Timan’ was napping without problems in the afternoon I ‘allowed’ 😉 Hubs to have some male bonding time with one of his friends, but he had to get some good pizza on the way home for dinner.
But then, the next day all was definitely back to the same ol’ same ol’. Hubs was still off so I took the opportunity to thoroughly clean out the kitchen cabinets while his job was making sure, the little monkey was not getting his curios little fingers into something he wasn’t supposed to. It worked more or less, ‘Timan’ had a couple of tantrums and Hubs a swollen foot because ‘Timan’ threw his little wooden toy-tool-box at him. Our efforts in discipline and social behavior worked only halfway, on the naughty chair he spent his time but he refused to apologize to his dad. Maybe he’s still to young to understand this concept. Or maybe he was just to stubborn to do it. We’ll have to work on this.
Lunchtime was one of the worst so far, his plate went flying off the table as he refused to eat one of his favorite foods ‘pasta with veggy-sauce’, only to ask for it after the outburst was over. And with Hubs in the house he was not able to settle himself down to take a nap and refused to accept my offer of holding him in my arms until he fell asleep, he even insisted on lying on the floor instead of in the bed. But then he wanted to be in my arms, fell asleep, only to get up and go down on the floor, where he stayed talking to himself. Was he trying to ditch his nap again? Or was it because he knew Hubs was around?
Do your little ones act differently too when Daddy’s around?
Anyway, I have to take my fate and keep clenching my teeth and wait until ‘Timan’ is old enough to go to Pre-School. That would be at the beginning of next year but that’s a long time for me to wait. Or I have to send him to daycare on some days. Or maybe I send him to his Gromi for a little vacation, because even though Mommy just had a one, she so desperately needs another one.
How are the other ‘stay-at-home-moms’ handling it? Daycare, friends/relatives, or are you one on one with the little one all the time? I would so love to get your opinion about this.
This post is liked with Adventures In Mommyhood Sunday Funday.