Monthly Archives: June 2011
… when ‘Timan’ wanted to satisfy his ‘addiction’.
Mangoes in the kitchen
and end with
No major damage but the lesson was learned (by both of us 😉 )
(as part of Wordless Wednesdays and linked up with live and love … out loud, project alicia, parenting BY dummies, Dagmar’s Momsense, Seven Clown Circus, Tara’s view of the world, Crazy About My Baybah, Supermom Alysha, 5 Minutes for Mom, Angry Julie Monday and more )
Our ‘Timan’ is approaching his 3rd birthday with giant strides, he has just a little less than 2 month more to go and I really don’t see an end to those ‘terrible twos’. But I’m not talking about tantrums in this post. No, I’m talking about something else: My little monkey is rather a little donkey with earplugs and blinders. He’s
defiant strong willed, doesn’t listen is very busy and doesn’t pay attention has his own opinion.
But I found some strategies that work actually
pretty good sometimes with my tot to make him listen and do what I want him to do:
- A short, simple and clear message that tells him what I want from him. No long sentence about the why’s and if’s. He would probably just getting lost and forgets what I told him to do.
- Lock eyes, even if I have to force him to do it by going down to his level or lift him up and restrain him from kicking.
- Talk with a calm but firm voice because now I’m much to close for a loud voice anyway. 😉
And not to forget:
- The Smile: My chance to get the message across and ‘Timan’ complying is much better when he can see that I’m not angry with him. Even if sometimes it is a forced smile to be honest. However the importance is not to turn the whole situation into something funny, otherwise my authority is gone in the flic of a second. Depending on the situation I’m waking actually a fine line with this smile.
And this one works
like a charm most of the time:
- Let him choose so he can completely be in control of the situation in questions of clothing, meal choices or things he has to do (Mommy is doing one of his tasks, he’s doing the other one, but he can choose which one he wants to do).
But sometimes the situation is just not for choosing, so I do:
- The counting: I count to the magical number 3 and when I’m finished he better does what he’s supposed to do, or else … . This works absolutely perfect but I have to follow through with the thing I threaten to impose on him. It took a couple of tries and he really got it. 🙂 This is actually my #1 tool.
If nothing else works, the next one is my absolutely very last trick (but I really don’t like it at all and I never ever do it when we are in a shop):
Buy him, bribe himoffer an incentive: Who says little kids can’t be bought?. ‘Timan’ wants something, he’s getting it. But only if Mommy is getting her way. But I’m afraid if I’m doing this too often I might end up with no other tool and that’s what I’m trying to avoid.
And I have to admit, sometimes I’m doing this:
- Yelling: One shout and very loud. It actually works when something is at stake or dangerous, i.g. he’s about to run into an approaching car. This is getting not only the attention of ‘Timan’ but also of the whole neighbourhood. Ugh. 😦 But if I’m yelling at the tot on a daily basis because he’s being naughty it is getting us nowhere. He is just closing his ears and I end up to be the one who is frustrated.
And even this I’ve done:
- Spanking on his hand when ‘Timan’ is trying to grab something after I told him several times over numerous days not to do it and he still keeps doing it. Like i.g. snatching something off the cutting board while I’m cutting or trying to grab something out of the hot pan on the stove. I don’t regret these spanks because the message came through and he
never did it againdoes it less often. Mission accomplished.
But let’s be honest, at the end of the day this one is cheering me up every time in those very desperate situations ;-):
Sometimes we have good days, life is wonderful and everything goes well from the time we open our eyes until we fall asleep at night.
But still, we have days nothing seems to work. The whole day is just terrible and awful, ‘Timan’ is not listening to anything and one naughty behaviour is followed by the next one. As I mentioned before, please don’t get me started with his tantrums. I could tell you about them with no end in sight. Sigh.
And then again, ‘Timan’ is a sweet and cuddly tot and the best awesome little boy in the whole wide world. I love him to the moon and back. And he’s my son, my mini-me. 🙂
What are your strategies when your kids turn a deaf ear to everything you are saying? Or do you really have the miracle words that make them do what you want them to?
“Nice waves today. It’s gonna be fun. And I’m not afraid anymore. 🙂 ”
“Is it coming?” …
“I think it is, but I’m not sure. I better wait.” …
“Yay, here it is.”
“So much fun swimming with you.”
“I really love you, my little turtles.”
“Because you are yellow, that’s my favorite color, you know, and it’s the first one I’ve learned.”
(as part of ‘Crazy Days of Summer weekly photo challenge: Yellow’ and linked up with live and love … out loud and project alicia and linked up with ‘Favorite Photo of the Week Contest’ by Through a Photographer’s Eyes, ‘Give me your best shot!’ by Better in Bulk and ‘Photo Story Friday’ by My Chaos My Bliss)
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… or the big man was down and the little man was suffering with him.
The other day my Hubs came home late from work. I was in bed already when he woke me up knocking on the bedroom window. And outside the house I found my man with his teeth clenched while hopping on one leg, without the house key. My poor Hubs had made a wrong step and strained his ankle. At least, that’s what it looked like to me. But looking at his face, I could have sworn he just lost his whole foot. My poor Husband, why is it, that men are so vulnerable and weak when they are in pain.
Unfortunately for him there were no pain-killer in the house either (mental note for me: buy some for the next time Hubs is close to tears). So I was a good wife, did some TLC and helped him taking off his clothes and take a shower with lots of “ouch”, “it hurts” and “ayoyo”. Never in their life men (my man) would have been able to push a football through a wedding ring, if you know what I mean. 😉
The next morning, he felt much better already and of course he was able to go to work. But I guess he was really in pain because he came home that day with a crutch and a new bandage.
So while Hubs was sipping on his coffee and changing his bandage (probably for the 10th time in the last 5 hours?) he was closely observed by ‘Timan’. While the big man was moaning his “ouch”, the little man was joining in with “me too, it hurts, ouch, ouch”. And he needed some ‘kiss’ medicine, and a bandage of his own.
Actually everything that is happening to the Hubs or me is happening to ‘Timan’ as well. The bad events luckily just happen in the little ones imagination and the other things are funny and some are a little bit annoying sometimes. For example I am cutting myself in the kitchen (this can tell you a lot about my cooking skills, I know) and try to stop the bleeding, ‘Timan’ needs a plaster very urgently. Or I put on foundation in the morning, ‘Timan’ needs to powder his nose. And when Hubs is wearing Jeans, ‘Timan’ would not leave the house with anything else. Sometimes Hubs is playing Guitar, the tot is playing his toy trumpet and Mommy is running far away.
I only wish he would imitate me the same way when it comes to eating his meal with fork or spoon like he nicely did until a couple of weeks ago or when I ask him to put his toys away and even start with the task.
Luckily imitation comes natural to children and it’s an easy way to learn. For example with crayons: I draw a curved line with a circle above it, he does the same (sort of) and it’s a mountain with the sun shining down. Or rolling up the bandage to use it again, the same way he saw Hubs doing it, and unroll it around his own foot.
But I am absolutely fine with it, when he ends up doing something completely different. Every person is an individual and a creative spirit needs to be free.
But tell me, is your partner acting the same as mine when it comes to pain? Or is he playing the fierce hero? And what about your tot, do you also have a little copycat running through your house?
Do you know the area you are living in? Depending on the period of time you are living there and the time you spent to explore it you may, or be honest, you might not.
In my case, I certainly don’t know every place. We are living on the main island (one of the inner islands) since 4 years, before I spent one year on a tiny outer island and a about half a year on a liveaboard travelling the outer islands all the way down to Aldabra. I actually know more about the outer islands than most natives living on the main island.
That’s why we spent our recent day of PFBF (Paradise-Family-Beach-Fun) on one of the other inner islands. We didn’t go swimming, even though it was very tempting. But only feasible if you have a place to stay and rinse off the salt and sand, otherwise you end up with a big blister where it really hurts. But enough talking, come and join us on our trip.
Early morning we got on the high-speed-ferry to the next island, switched to another ferry and arrived on our destination roughly two hours later. On this island there are no cars, no motorised transportation besides a couple of taxis. Everybody is using bicycles or is sitting on an Ox cart.
grabbed rented our bikes and set off for an exploration, a little bit like tourists. But that’s the way life is in a tourist destination. 😉
All of the inner islands are granite islands and this island is one of the most beautiful ones, mainly because of the picturesque granite rock formations. We went to check out ‘Anse la Source a Jean’, a beach of course, as if we had none of those on our home-island.
On our way we met this guy, maybe a distant cousin to the Tortoise living in our garden, who knows.
We grabbed a bite to eat and kept going, up the hill, and down the hill to the next beach, Grand Anse.
Even ‘Timan’ was
getting scared impressed by the waves.
There are always big waves and dangerous currents here, nobody should swim out far and it’s definitely not a place where you let a little tot play in the water.
On our way back we passed old abandoned houses like this one:
I have to admit, at this point I had a serious problem and I could feel every nerve in my behind. So much about the comfort of a rental bike when the last time I rode a bike was half a decade ago. But I’m a Mommy, I don’t know the word pain. 😉
On the other side of the island were less waves but the sun was more cruel burning down on us. By now it was mid afternoon and just a tiny little bit hot.
And the Hubs pedaled and pedaled. What else was I to do but follow my men. We passed more palm trees and more granite rocks until even my Hubs had enough.
Time to turn around and head back to the jetty, where a cold beer was waiting for us and a glass of fresh passionfruit juice for ‘Timan’.
When we reached the main island, our little tot was fast asleep.
I’m sure you are doing day-trips with your family too. What are you doing? Are you going to the zoo or a theme park? Tell me about it, we don’t have this here and I’d like to know. As always, I’m curious.
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