A new era has dawned
It happened shortly after ‘Timan’ was released from the hospital. Every day we had to go to the ER in our local clinic, where the dressing was changed, the dressing that covered his still open incision from his appendicitis surgery and the emergency surgery afterwards. One morning we met this Indian doctor. And he did what I’ve tried so many times before but did not succeed at all.
I’m talking about the last step in toilet training, or should I say toilet learning. Since more than half a year ‘Timan’ was doing great concerning the pee issue, he could do it while sitting on his toilet seat (like every mom, girlfriend or wife should teach their male housemates), while lifting up the seat and nicely arranging his things (all three of them) on the rim of the bowl and also when he was playing outside. After a very short time of practice not a drop went awry, even though the wind was his biggest challenge when he was practicing outside. His little friend was showing him how to do it and several times I saw the two of them doing their business towards a wall. So cute.
But he flat-out refused plop a bowel movement into the toilet. The potty chair he refused from the beginning to use for anything else than as a chair to look at his little books. He insisted on doing his BM into the diapers. I’ve tried everything, I’ve tried it with many methods you may find online, nothing worked. I’ve told him he will not be able to go to pre-school in diapers, knowing he’s already so much looking forward to go next year. He did not care. So I gave up. In time he will come around I thought, eventually he has to. Isn’t there a saying that ‘nobody walks down the aisle in diapers’?
But back to the actual event, or person, that changed everything. The Indian doctor.
He was looking at ‘Timan’, the wound from the last surgery, he frowned and thoughtfully shook his head. To me he said than: ‘Madam, the boy has to go without diapers. Or there will be i n f e c t i o n.’ And to ‘Timan’ he said: ‘No more diapers little boy’. And ‘Timan’ looked at him, looked at me, swallowed hard, and said: ‘But … want diapers’. The doctor again: ‘Nooo, little one’, pulled the diapers away and threw them in the trash bin. ‘Timan’s mouth was quivering but he did not cry, just looked at the doctor. Was it his accent, his beard, I guess I will never know, my little one simply accepted what he was told.
We went home, without diapers, he took his nap after lunch, without diapers, slept through the night, without diapers and he stayed dry. You can imagine my surprise. I never expected it to be that easy.
Of course, we’ve had a couple of wet accidents in some of the nights since then and one BM in his undies at the very beginning but it took only a day or so until he told me he had to use the toilet for passing stuhl. And he is doing fine since then. I’m proud of him and I think he himself is as proud as he can be.
But ‘Timan’ gave me areal scare about two weeks into his diaperless life. After the operations he was eating normal, lots of fruits and foods with fibers but he was not drinking as much as he used to. I constantly had to force him, often by waving a syringe and from time to time I even had to use it.
So after two weeks doing absolutely fine he was complaining about pain in his belly. I was so afraid that again something was wrong related to the operations that I took him to the ER right away. By chance his former surgeon was on call. During the ultrasound he threw up and went limp. Again there was a small amount of some liquid visible in his abdominal cavity, but apparently nothing to worry. But to be on the safe side and I guess to cover himself, the surgeon admitted ‘Timan’ to the pediatric ward for observation. Next day CT scan and another ultrasound and these tests showed his intestines were slightly swollen, luckily the liquid appeared not to be the problem.
But gas and a full rectum were causing the pain, with other words, he had a constipation.
I think under normal circumstances this would have solved itself after a while but with ‘Timan’s history of belly pain I could not let it pass without having him checked by a surgeon.
The most important thing now is to make sure he’s drinking enough water and eating enough fibers so his stuhl is not getting compacted and he ends up being constipated again. And he will drink, this I’m going to take care of, the little one is on a drinking schedule now.
But fact is ‘Timan’ has entered another developmental stage, the baby and bubba days are over and a new era has dawned. Now ‘Timan’ is a little boy.
How did your little one master this developmental milestone? With your help, on his own, the help of somebody else, did he have an ‘authority’ figure like ‘Timan’ had? Please tell me about it.