It’s a man’s world – or rather a boy’s world

Our ‘Timan’ is not a baby or bubba anymore, no, he is a boy now. He entered the ‘boyhood’ around the time he lost his diapers and when he started to tell us explicitly what he likes and wants and what he despises and therefore doesn’t like at all. Luckily he’s not aware of the word ‘hate’ (yet) and I’m so happy about this. :-)

I am always trying to treat him in a gender neutral way, at least emotionally. We do cuddle and snuggle a lot, he’s running to Mommy to kiss his booboo away and if he was a girl it wouldn’t be any different. ‘Timan’ is wearing shorts and t-shirts and no skirts, of course (I do not want him to be exposed to people’s jokes), but not the type of clothes saying something about ‘boy’ on it. Some of them are blue, yes, because it’s Mommy’s favorite color and some of them are any other color looking good on him.

And then came the time he started to wear underwear. So we went shopping together and I let him chose the ‘undies’ he liked. All of his choices have either a car, plane, truck or train on them. Boy-underwear they are.

Concerning the toys it was always Mommy’s or Daddy’s choice in the past. Now it’s his own choice. Now he can tell us clearly what he would like to get. And it’s always something with a car, a bus, a truck …. , well, a ‘boy’-toy. And well in his ‘terrible two’ he’s never throwing a tantrum in town because of a ‘girl’-toy he sees in a store. But if he happens to see the car … oh boy oh boy.

Sometimes we are visiting friends with daughters. In their house he never plays with ‘girl’-toys, he might pick the car out of the ‘Barbie and Ken’-set and when the girls want to play ‘mommy, daddy and baby’ with him, he escapes within the 1st minute. Well, I think not entirely because of the game itself, but because being the smallest one, ‘Timan’ always ends up being the baby in the game.

I’m still amazed how much of his so gender typical behavior is coming from himself, without influence from the outside. It looks as if ‘Timan’ is ‘programmed’ to behave like a typical boy, and I think it doesn’t matter so much where we are living or who his parents are or with whom he’s living with.

He’s still likes to ‘help’ around the house, hanging laundry and cleaning things with water (because of the splashing involved, I guess), but when he sees Hubs working on the car, he wants to ‘fix’ his own set of wheels right away and leaves everything else behind.

‘Timan’ has entered the world of boys and there is no way back. He loves to do boy things, loves to ‘paint’ the wall with his pee, plays with boy toys, starts to fix about anything in our house (broken or not, it doesn’t matter ;-) ).

I believe in todays western world it’s easier for little girls to do all the things little boys are doing, at least most of them. Starting with the type of clothes girls can wear and ending with the typical ‘boy’-toys they are playing with. And nobody will say anything. ‘Timan’ is making his own picks and if he would choose a ‘girl’-toy or a ‘girl’-color for his clothes, no problem. When he’s old enough to go to school, he can wear a skirt after school if he wants to, no problem with me (all kids have to wear school-uniforms). But I’ll definitely warn him about the consequences, the laughter, the staring and bad talking of his peers.

Where do we get from here? I hope he keeps his mind open for all the things labeled ‘female’ in this world and in his life, doesn’t stop using the soft touch he still has and never forgets Mommy and all the other females are not from Mars, but from Venus.

How is it with your kids? Is you boy doing the typical ‘boy things’, or maybe not? And what about your girl? Is your child ‘acting’ according to his/her gender?

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Posted on May 2, 2011, in 'Timan', Clothes, Guy Stuff, Parenting, Toddler and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. Something weird happened when I tried to post a comment so I hope this doesn’t post twice! I was saying how my boy is very “boy,” and he chooses, trucks, cars, tools, and balls first. But, he has recently shown interest in “girl toys,” (he calls them girl toys) and he plays with stuff like that occasionally. We got him a stroller that he likes to push his stuffed animals in. It doesn’t bother us, but I notice it still gets the attention of other people.

  2. I find it interesting that it is so much more acceptable for girls to do “boy stuff,” but it is still more of a worry when a boy does “girl stuff.” My boy is very “boy.” However, now that he is 3, I have noticed that when we are at a house where a girl is, he enjoys playing with the dolls and checking out the strollers. When he saw some TV commercials the other day, he said, “Mommy, I want girl toys!” We bought him a stroller (it is blue) and he pushes his stuffed animals around every once in a while, but he still mostly goes for the cars, tools, trucks, and balls!

    • ‘Timan’ didn’t want to have any ‘girl’-toy so far, and if he would, I’ll support it definitely. It can only expand his horizon. Even though especially where we are living people will look and some men will talk. Women are more open minded here.

  3. I nanny for boy/boy/girl triplets, and the boys are ALL boys and the girl is ALL GIRL! it’s very interesting!!

    • That’s really interesting, I would have thought the girl is more boyish growing up with two brothers the same age. Before we had ‘Timan’ I was never so aware of this, I thought it depends a lot on the environment, but I guess that’s not the case.

  4. I only have girls but they do play with only girl toys but I think that is because that is what our house is filled with. However, my kids are not “girly-girls.” They are not afraid to get dirty and my oldest likes to skateboard. It is hard growing up with the gender differences in activities and stuff because kids can be mean and hurtful.

    • Definitely. But I hope for all the kids they are able to take their own decisions concerning e.g. the activities they like, no matter what others are telling them or even laugh about their choices. But maybe I’m a bit idealistic about this. We will see how our little one will handle this in the future.

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